The ongoing debate on doling out rewards and punishment to children continues as a new dimension to positive parenting is added, that of Positive Discipline. As parents, we want the very best for our children, constantly striving to; find ways to equip them with the skills they need to succeed in life. Providing insight there is a quote from Aristotle that states “Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit” and if Aristotle were right then we need to discover and use the methods that will encourage the development of right habits. Developing the right habits in the child is a process of disciplining and training.
The Need for Discipline :
As parents, effective techniques must be understood and practiced, in order to further the development of our children. This brings us to a discussion of the effectiveness of rewards and punishments in the rearing and upbringing of children. Discipline is the term given to the process by which we attempt to shape and change behavior, whether our own or our children’s behavior. Discipline is the whole framework of providing support, encouragement and guidance to generate socially desired and acceptable ways of behaving and relating to the world at large. When the word “discipline” is applied in the context of rearing of young children, it refers to the practice of a nurturing approach that fosters competence, self-control, self-direction, respect and caring for others, within children.
While rewards and punishment for pre-school and pre-primary age kids constitutes a process of disciplining and many parents and teachers see punishment as being a part of the disciplinary process. However, discipline for children is more about shaping and changing behavior and not so much about punishment. In order to build good habits and learn acceptable behavior, habits should be developed at an early age to begin with. It's never too early to introduce your child to positive habits, which will reward his or her endeavors throughout. Quite a few educators and child development experts are united in their view, that discipline can and should exclude punishment.
The Difference between Punishment and Positive Discipline :
Any discussion on rewards and punishment would not be complete without a fuller understanding of Positive Discipline that is being widely advocated. Discipline is understood to be different from punishment in its intent and consequences and is seen as providing the stimulus for cultivating strong positive behavior. The following helps make the distinction clear and you can see why the argument for Positive Discipline is winning votes.
Positive Discipline :
• Is done with a child; there is sharing of information knowledge;
• Is guiding and teaching to encourage and support the right behavior;
• There are no quick results, behavior change does take time and requires understanding, time, and patience on the part of the supervising adult;
• Effectively reinforces and teaches problem-solving and helps create positive self-image;
• Help develop long-term self-control and cooperation and collaborative attitudes.
Punishment :
• Is done to the child and does not involve dual participation. The child is given a mandate and asked to comply with is more about exerting control over the child through the exercise of power, authority, and coercion and fear of unpleasant consequences for any non-compliance;
• It tends to provoke feelings of guilt, resentment, anger and could result in inciting deceitful behavior to escape punishment;
• Disrupts communication being one way only and can upset parent-child relationships;
• Results in the child refraining from the specific undesired behavior in the specific situation but only temporarily, and can be resorted to when conditions of anonymity are provided for.
Why We Should Eschew Punishment and Choose Positive Discipline
When harsh and severe punishment is imposed for ‘bad’ behavior, it often becomes counterproductive and produces behaviors very different from what was intended. Children may as a result of the punishment become resentful, angry and vengeful but that is a small part of the argument. It could also result in suppressing the child’s natural expression creating a stultified, repressed and introverted personality, quite at odds with society.
Importantly punitive consequences are not seen as being very successful in teaching the child self-control. A child who is always reprimanded without discussion will have serious repercussions on the child’s personality as the child fails to develop necessary problem-solving abilities.
On the other hand, positive discipline concentrates on the positive points of a child’s behavior, believing that there are just good and bad behaviors and no child is bad. Positive discipline does not advocate punishment in any form and eschews punitive scolding, spanking, threatening denial of privileges. In answer to what else is there; that is what positive discipline is all about providing parenting methods based on two basic principles of;
• Creating a connection before correction;
• Involves the child in focusing on solutions.
A preventive, approach is required to guide the behavior of students in pre-school and pre-primary age group and mold them into fine citizens. The foundation for such an approach lies in the emerging body of positive behavior support as enshrined in the principles of positive discipline. The distinctively different approach that positive behavior support takes, serves to make harsh punishment redundant and wholly unnecessary. Punishment is no longer necessary and should be eschewed while a more concerted effort is made to adopt and practice wholesome Positive discipline methods to help your child mature into a mature and balanced adult.
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